It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
