Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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