Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
