someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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