idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
