Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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