those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
