DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
