Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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