Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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