Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
