Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
