good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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