haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize