maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
