He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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