Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
