I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
