I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
