Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
