dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
