wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
