Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize