the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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