apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
