And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I could make wine with my vomit
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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