she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
