just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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