Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
