I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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