Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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