Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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