"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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