I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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