help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
