Having a random hookup so left but love u
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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