who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
