i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
