Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
