so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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