can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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