it wasn't lemon gatorade
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
