So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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