"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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