the condom got lost in my hair
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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