I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
