i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
