He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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