guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
