that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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