There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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