Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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