Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
