My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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