i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize