omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize