3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Drunk is a universal language darling
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