Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
