He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
dude. I can hear the air.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
