I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's rum buckets o'clock
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
