Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
where are my eyebrows?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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