I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
