I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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