Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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