I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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