Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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