It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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