remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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